are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
