Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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