Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
