watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
