Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize