I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
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just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I am one with the molecules
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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