dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
