I bet he comes in French.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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