Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
