so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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