but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
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Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
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Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I party with great urgency now.
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