I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I didn't notice because vodka
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
