dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
