So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
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I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
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I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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