I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
