You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
