if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
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He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
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Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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