you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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