Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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