It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
