Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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