Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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