I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
