Your tits are I can't wait for
I wish you could order shots online.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Randomize
