Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
