GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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