She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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