He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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