I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
