Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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