my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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