I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
