why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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