I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
