New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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