can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
