I look better un-naked...
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
