I CAN MOONWALK!
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
