You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
