Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
