when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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