Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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