was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize