can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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