It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
