dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
