You work out of a Hotel?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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