You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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