he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
