I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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