he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
