I think I died a long time ago.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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