now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
