My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
home. puking in laundry basket.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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