hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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