The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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