Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
