I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
